I never would have chosen this mission. Ever.
If I had known the truth about vaccines from the very beginning, there is no way I would have ever given them to my baby.
This road has been grueling, painful, and unbearable at times. I’ve had to learn not to go down the path of “what if”. I’ve had to learn to let go of the anger. I’ve had to learn not to marinade in the guilt, in the regret, in the heartache. I’ve had to learn to stand when I wanted to crumble and to hold on to enough of the injustice to rise up and fight for others.
But as a believer, I was also called to one more thing–one thing I thought I would never be able to do.
I was called to be thankful.
The reminder came from a sincere friend, one who had just heard my story and had seen my tears fall.
“What are you thankful for?” she had asked.
I didn’t know how to answer at that time. I didn’t know what to say. How could I be thankful for all that has happened to us? How could I give thanks for the suffering and the heartache we have endured as a family?
I pondered that question long and hard for days, for months even, praying for clarity, for that deeper understanding of faith that far surpasses the intellect.
What was I thankful for?
Over time, here is what I came to discover.
I am Thankful for the Time I Have Had with My Children
From the time I was in college, I had always dreamed of staying home when my children were born. It was a dream that I quickly let go of upon the arrival of our son. I had a successful career. I had worked my way to the top, eventually leading to a six-figure business and a territory that covered the state.
But I was forced to come home. Twice.
The first time because our son was so sick his first year, and the second when I felt the calling to homeschool him. I struggled with the transition. I struggled with letting go of the status and the money and the expensive clothes. But it has since been the greatest blessing and the best decision I have ever made.
The hours upon hours of time that I have since spent with our children are memories we will forever share. I have given our babies thousands more kisses as I wore them from room to room in their carriers against my chest. I have shared countless more songs, smiles, and hugs. I have been there for their first words, their first steps, their first reading books, nature walks, field trips, and boo boo’s.
I’ve been right there to hold our son when his body was melting down, to teach him how to cope with his struggles and how to manage the sensory overload. I’ve been there to cheer him on through math and to celebrate when he read his first book. I’ve been there to cook his special meals and snacks, to take him to his doctor and therapy appointments.
I’ve been there. And I realize now how very much I would have missed had I continued on my own path of traveling and late nights.
Instead, I was there. And I am so thankful for every moment of it.
I am Thankful for a New Understanding of Health and Wellness
This journey of healing and recovery has opened my eyes to a new understanding of health and wellness. I now see the limitations of allopathic medicine, and the power that comes from making wise choices. I now know about nutrition and how to feed my family. I know what toxins to avoid and how to keep my family healthy with homeopathy and essential oils.
I’ve learned how to care for myself as well and how to naturally reverse the chronic illnesses that I myself had endured. I’ve been blessed with better health, and I’ve learned how to help others.
They say that ignorance is bliss, but the reality is that ignorance is costly. For the majority of my life, it cost me my health; it also cost our son his health.
No, ignorance is not bliss. Knowledge is power, and because of it, I have been made aware of multiple options for recovery and healing for our son. Each protocol has brought him closer and closer to the boy he was always meant to be. I see him reaching new milestones, processing through new challenges more easily, and fighting with all his might to stand strong.
Our journey has opened our eyes to vaccine injury recovery and has helped us blast through the lies that the industry uses to protect its profits. I am thankful to now have the knowledge and wisdom to be able to take care of those I love.
I am Thankful for Homeschooling
Before all of these life changes, I had never even heard of homeschooling. I didn’t even know homeschooling was a thing. I was completely set on one way of doing things and never even once stopped to consider alternatives.
When The Lord put it on my heart to homeschool our son, it was such a huge paradigm shift for me. I had to unlearn everything I had come to believe about education and what was truly important. I had to research new educational philosophies and determine new goals for our children–ones that were far different than what I had originally valued in the public school model.
I found that there was so much freedom in making these choices, and the opportunity to share our Biblical worldview in the context of history, science and literature was absolutely priceless.
I am grateful to be able to teach our children through living books, nature exploration, and hands-on experiences. I am grateful for the time we have in between for baking and handcrafts and conversation. Homeschooling has given us the platform to learn and grow together, and I am thankful that I was thrown into the beauty of it all.
I am Thankful for the Warrior Moms I Have Met
When I think about the “what-ifs” of it all, one thing that I often forget to consider is how many wonderful and amazing people I would have missed in my life. I have been surrounded by some of the strongest warrior moms, who have come alongside me through the journey. We have worked through the hard times, prayed through the challenges, and have encouraged one another to never give up hope.
I have met moms who heard everything that the mainstream told them about autism and vaccine injury, and faced it head on, debunking the lies with their testimonies and experiences. I have met moms who were willing to put aside the worry of what others would think of them in order share truth.
It was two of those moms that gave me the courage to not vaccinate our daughter and save her and her sister from the tragedy that befell our son. I have gotten to know these warriors as friends, and I have been so very inspired by each and every one of them.
I am Thankful that I Can Share Truth
It was others sharing truth that ultimately inspired me to pay it forward and do the same. It wasn’t something I would have chosen, but it has since become such an important part of my life. I have the biggest heart for children, and having this opportunity to help them and others has truly blessed me in my own journey.
Through my small platform, The Lord has been able to take our story of heartache and pain and use it to encourage others, to help others, to save others. I have been able to open eyes to the truth and protect others from the lies that have hurt our children so very much.
I am grateful for the new people I have “met” through it all– the emails, comments, and notes I have received that have been such a blessing to me and have kept me moving forward. I am so appreciative to be on the side of truth and stand alongside each of you.
I am Thankful
Our journey has been anything but easy, but The Lord promises in His Word that all things will work together for our good (Romans 8:28), and I truly trust in that promise. I see now how very much I am living it, how very much blessing has come in the midst of the storm.
There truly is much to be thankful for: my husband, who has grown alongside me through it all; our children, who have brought smiles and joy to each day; and our family and friends, who have offered their love and support every step of the way.
No, I never would have chosen this mission, this journey, or this experience, but I can now look back and be thankful despite it all. . . or because of it all.
It is in this gratitude that I have found fulfillment and contentment in all that is and is to come.
I pray that if you’re hurting and have gone through the heartache of vaccine injury, you can one day do the same.
And so, I ask, What is that you’re thankful for?
In everything give thanks. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)